Self

O, How much I miss you... Sometimes it feels or I feel I will never write again.
But everyday I think about "you" actually I meant about "me" which is "you".
In a philosophical sense I never stop thinking about "myself"...Not that I completely clearly understand all the intricacies, the whole meaning, I do not have complete comprehension or apprehension of the "self" as a word-Logos- that stands "byitself", "foritself"...Let alone "myself","me","I" as an entity as a "self", as a "consciousness" conscience of its "presence" and I say presence as a part of the bigger picture which is The Existence...In other words I stand "aware" that "I exist"..."I am"..."I another"...

O, Corner

My corner, O my cozy corner!!! One Day I will find you.
I will not stop looking for you. And when my feet get tired
and my will gets weaker to search for you.I will not give-up on you.
I will create you, I will ask a mason to build you for me.
I will ask my mason to construct you neither too large nor too small.
You won't have high ceiling neither,too much light nor too
much warmth nor cold. A desk I will have in you my corner.
Book shelves... I shall fill them with books...
Mostly dealing with the Human. The Homo sapiens as a part of nature...
human as a bios, Human as Zoe. Human as a part of the ecosystem...
a poet,an aestheticist...
human as a free thinker, as a philosopher, a historian, as a part of this vast cosmos.
I will get a rocking chair too,made of old wood, strong and solid...
I will rock and read, think,write, I will cry and Laugh, imagine, dream, create, delve,
I will look for inner insights,...I will know myself...I will free myself...My medium corner, you are my freedom. You are my refuge. You are my mystery.
yap, I will find you, O yes I will find you...
I want you to be an old ( meaning wise) looking corner. The mood, the ambiance, the spirit of you will be that of a heart hungry for knowledge. A heart yearning and crying to deal with his ambivalence. With my faith and my doubts that generates it.
I will ask questions...Why?, How?, When?, what?, where?.
My Corner get ready for history will be penned in you. My corner are u ready for this "honor"? (whatever that word means).
Most of the Time you, me and all the thinkers' books and essays, will hang-out together.
I will read their books and try to imagine how they look and draw them in my mind. Create a picture of them...And imagine and convince myself that they live-up to what they write...Or hope sometimes that s/he just wrote this line but doesn't really intend it or wish to be read by anyone...
Some visitors will be welcomed but this is not going to be a common practice. Because you are my corner...I will study ...In you I will become,...I will regress and I will grow...
I will not sleep in my corner but I may fall asleep sometimes...Because you are a place for me to wonder and ponder...Wine will be the only Spirit allowed...Music will be played
Poetry will be read...Ink will dry-up....

O, Corner 1

O, Corner, finally I sat down and penned what I have been growing in my mind about you. Here you are now,....You became a being, you exist my corner, you exist as an idea as a goal, as a thought... My heart feels you are there,.. My eyes sees, my imagination conceived you. My corner! You are part of a bigger house...Otherwise you seize to exist...You will not be a self anymore...by-yourself...You exist because there is a center,...You are a corner in the house...You are my corner...


Dear Love your picture will be in my corner!!! I promise that you will have a very important place in the heart of my corner. You will reside on my wise desk!!!
I will remember all the good days we had together...O, how you are still a part of me. You were real!!! I love, loved the way you loved me...We were meant for each other...I still love you...I am always looking for you...I look for you everywhere...Same as I look for my corner...The difference is that...My corner is an idea in my mind, my thoughts, one day my mason can build it for me.
But you my love...O you...The One made you, He created you with his Love , He formed your eyes, he shaped them, with such care...You are His masterpiece...
I still close my eyes and see how you wave your hands with the music like an expert, everytime you move your hand up ,I feel I am elated, I am touching the Most High, my heart would be beating hard and fast with Joy...For your hand to strike down and you see me confused but still full of hope....
All of this is happening in my corner...In my corner, I will remember, I will live with the nostalgia of your love,..The pain of love!!! Your Love, the pain of loving you...

Elia and Mary 

Khalil Marwan Youssef...